Do you still have your period?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
