Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
