please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
