Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
