He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
