Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
