i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
