I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
