i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize