i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
