but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
