so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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