I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize