so let's talk penis.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
