i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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