I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
