Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize