don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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