The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize