no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize