She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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