I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
