Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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