i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
