I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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