doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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