Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just want nice things and good sex
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize