There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I hope mine doesn't look like that
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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