i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
