i just wanna soil my oats bro
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
