What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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