so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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