yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
