Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
