and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
