Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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