he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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