So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
