I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
