I wish I only lived at night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
