You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
