Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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