Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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