So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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