I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
