If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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