You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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