Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
