Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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