you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize