I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize