guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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