I wannas sexs uuuuu
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
