we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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