Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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