I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
