dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize