Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
