her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
