it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
