Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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