i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
