he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
