Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think people are normalizing furries
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
