I cannot find my penis.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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