Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
