Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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