She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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